The Wit of Jean-Alain Roussel
Richard Hayter - Corners 65 to 71: I remember GHB’s famous morning assembly sometime in 1966, with Jean-Alain Roussel as ever, playing the piano for the morning hymn. That morning GHB chose to lecture the assembled throng:

"Err, there are some things we do well and there are some things we do not do so well. One of these things is litter."

He moaned on for some time, while boys looked at their feet and masters, seated in the back rows created from opening the rear classrooms, shuffled in the awkward position of listening whilst trying hard not to laugh. GHB continued on a theme of our collective indolence.

"I am sick and tired of seeing boys walking around like a capital C with their feet up making coffee."

The shuffling on the back row became noisier and the boys plunged their chins into their chests so no one could see them sniggering silently .......

The lecture over, it was now past nine o’clock. Gown flapping, and mortarboard balanced perfectly on his head, GHB gathered his book and papers, turned left and marched purposefully to the door. The boys and staff stood to attention. It just remained for Jean to play GHB out of the Assembly Room ...... to Laurel and Hardy’s 'Dance of the Cuckoos'!

Turning at the door GHB looked sternly across the stage: "Roussel! My office now."

As the door closed behind him, Roussel played a final high note: Plink!

To this day I have nothing but admiration for the self-control in that room. Nobody laughed - probably because their hands covered their mouths.